Fast Food Proposal

Thank you for viewing my blog, I hope you werent too set on a new post about paintball. Today is all business people. I want to discuss a business oppurtunity for you all. You have the great honor of becoming an investor in my new Fast Food restaurant, Meato's.

What exactly is Meato's? It is a Fast Food joint where you go to stuff your gullet. You see it off the road. You like meat. You stop by. You walk up to the counter to order your meaty dish and you look at the menu. What do you see? You see a wall covered with only 3 possible orders. They are 3 burgers, they are massive, they are greasey, and they will destroy you.

Our first burger is the MACH 1. This burger is capable of slaying a small animal, such as an opossum or a house cat. The buns are greasey pieces of fried bread, then there is a piece of sloppy cheese, onions, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, then there is the kahuna. The massive slab of hamburger meat encompasses an area of 36 pi inches squared or 6 inches in diameter. This bad boy has more meat than Ron Jeremy, it will fill the largest, harriest man alive. Please order with the knowledge that this could devastate your bowels for at least 10 hours.

Our second slice of heaven is the MACH 2. This burger is capable of putting down a small child. Needless to say, you have to sign an agreement to serve this to Jr. If you order this burger, it comes with a side of pepto. Your bowels will be destroyed. Diarhea is imenent. It will be dark and runny, and it will not be funny. Do NOT and I repeat DO NOT take public transportation after consuming this monster. Symptoms of comsumption will include anal seepage, blood in the stool. diahrea, thoughts of suicide, acts of suicide, developing of stomach ulcers, stomach stretch marks, and in children, sure death.

Finally for a limited time offer, we have the Mach 3. It is named this for a reason. It shoots through your system at 3 times the speed of sound. Your body is so eager to remove the toxin that peristalsis is supercharged. This burger has been used as a tranquilizer for large ferrel bull elephants. To bad George Orwell didnt know about this. The quick transition from stable to death is a common way of suicide for emo teens. Why cut yourself when you can consume a deliciously deadly hunk of meat. There is 1 symtom. Death.

We also offer a house salad for those too weak to eat meat.

Thank you for your time.