High School Whimsical

Have you ever seen those kids walking around saying how "in love" they are with their highschool mates. I can think of nothing more painful to the eyes than seeing 2 morons making out in the hallway, and nothing more painful to the ears than hearing them say "i love you sooo much babbyyy booooo." This is not true. Why isnt it true? Because they are young idiots who are forced together by whimsical chance, who both find eachother attractice therefore they get together so they can hook up. This creates the need for the word love. They must find a way to justify their lust so they arent just whores with a constant "John". This is why there are teenage pregnancies, this is why there are suicides from complete morons who break up with their "special someone" because they just dont show they love eachother properly. Of course i shouldnt complain, if they do kill themselves, they do remove 1 more idiot gene from the world. That conceivably removes hundreds of generations of other over dramatic morons that could have surfaced from her ill fated eggs. Clearly darwin is at work here. If you are in a high school relationship, please examine the following points to see if you are a total moron.


#1. Do you say I love you more than once a day: If you do, congrats, you are a total moron. You do not love them. You only think you do because of that last episode of the OC where some idiot told some other idiot she loved him, and since they are cool, they are obviously right. If you are guilty of this, stop, maybe then you will only be a moron instead of a total moron.

#2. Do you make out in the hallways: If you do, please do us all a favor, and kill yourselves. Noone wants to see that. Noone. If you must do it, then ditch your next class, dont worry, youre probably failing it anyway.

#3. Do you update your facebook status to absolutely agonizing things such as <3<3 OMFG I LOVE GHF<3<3!!!!!!: If you do this, delete your facebook. This is completely idiotic. I would rather read the autopsy reports of 2000 brutally murdered cute puppies than read this update.

#4. Do you think your relationship is more adult than the other petty ones around you: If you do this, you are wrong. You may say, Ethan, you just dont get our relationship, we really do love eachother, and we are not just some petty fling. Wrong, yes you are. You are just as petty and idiotic as everyone else.

#5. If you say i love you to your partner in under 3 months, you are more than just a complete moron. You are a mind blowingly daft person, with a brain the size of an acorn, and the central nervous system of a paint sniffer who cant wipe himself anymore.

As a final note, I will say, it is conceivable for very rare occurences of love to exist between HS students, this can only occur if both people have been with each other for 80% of their HS education, and did not say i love you until at least 6 months into the relationship.

I do not want idiotic messages from idiotic people telling me that I have never been in love and therefore dont know what im talking about. Do not presume to know anything about my personal life and make accusations about me. I have had relationships in HS, and I am talking on experience here. End rant.