1. Mel Gibson is God, God plays in Braveheart, the movie is therefore holy.
2. Swords are way cooler than guns. Id rather see some bad guys head get lopped off by a 7 foot claymore sword than see Sunny get lit up by thompsons, swords are just awesome.
3. Babes-yes, ill play this card for both male and female viewers, 2 uber hot girls were in this movie (they arent blonde...but we can overlook that) and yes their fine bodys were visible on numerous occasions, and for the women, you get to see rugged scots and their dongs and asses, not to mention Mel Gibson is scandily clad throught the movie (kilts). WHEREAS---the Godfather is chock full of the ugliest, nastiest fucks ever, 0 hot potential.
4. Action-Braveheart was full of it; people getting decapitated, tortured, arms and legs lopped off, arrows flying into peoples chests, horses getting ran through by spears, and finally, the entire movie is scattered with massive battle scenes with hundreds if not thousands of extras hacking away at eachother. ITS GOT THE WHOLE PACKAGE. The only action the Godfather has, is people being shot in the back of the head, strangled, and ambushed---LAME.
5. Honor--Braveheart has it, people all have a chance when they are killed in battle, they have the opurtunity to save their lives and kill their enemies, whereas in the Godfather, there is no fighting, there is just ambushing without honor by greasy men with pistols.
6. Underlying Theme- Braveheart's underlying theme is FREEDOM, thats something we love here at the paintball corner, damn straight, liberty and freedom are reasons to fight, WHEREAS---the Godfathers main theme is CRIME and crime family, and one could also argue respect, im sorry, but freedom>thuggery.
7. The most badass death in movie history goes to WILLIAM WALLACE--his entrails were cut out, extremeties broken, genitals hacked off, and was finally beheaded, but before the ax fell, he screams in an extremely loud voice through his apparent agony beyond belief....FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!11!!!!111. WHEREAS-the only real badass death in the Godfather was Sunny, who was merely gunned down by around 1000 bullets, which was only humerous to me.
8. Inspiration--the speeches in Braveheart were amazing, after I heard those I was inspired to do anything. Wallaces death also gives great inspiration, which historically it did, to thousands of scots who really did get their freedom, WHEREAS the Godfather merely inspired teenage men to be infaturated with crime and the gangster lifestyle...*COUGH* the sandbox *COUGH*
9. Historical Value---okay, not all the battles were fought that way, but there was a william wallace, who won the battle of stirling bridge against his tyranical overloads, the english, he really did rebel, the scots really did follow him, and he really was tortured and killed, his arms being sent to every corner of england and his head put on a pike in london, and the scots did win at bannockburn with robert the bruce against the english and did get their freedom, WHEREAS---the Godfather is NOT based on a true inspirational story, it is a fictional story about a non inspirational, thug family.
10. FINALLY, it is better because I say its better....lol...ran out of ideas, but I believe ive cited enough reasons for its superiority.
I challenge the sandbox to a rebuttle, please, humor me.
1 comment:
y u dum
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