Over my past few years at Kennedy High School I have been on the losing end of countless bets to a number of different people. One is an Egyptian imigrant by the name of "sandy". His betting is always based on luck, and last chance fortune. Our most recent bet was concerning the attendance of a person by the name of William. William is a well known absentee, and my bet was that he would not skip more than 1 day in a row, (in hopes that pure human decency would bring him to school). I was wrong. Twice. On the first day, I payed in cash 1 dollar to Abdullah. The next day, (being the 3rd consecutive day of his absense), I lost another 2 dollars. Being an unscrupulous bastard I paid said arab in dirty change from the darkest chasms of my car. This was no ordinary change, it was laced, tainted, with god knows what sticky liquid, crusted with crums, and I gave this to him in a bottle of pop, still sticky with sunkist. This change was bad. This change was wrong. This change is his.
On to my next story(s) of my betting with a woman by the name of Kajsa. Her betting prowess I can only attribute to pure, unadultered luck. Our bets usually intail me not showing up to school. I bet (having too much faith in myself) that I will attend every day of a term from some point till the end. I have not once won this bet. My grandmother, you see, she is sick, very ill, and to not take care of her would be a true crime. I "skip", as she so dastardly puts it, to take care of her, and I am subsequently charged for my "absense". On another occasion, I bet 10 dollars on which one of us could stay off AIM for the longest ammount of time. But this was no ordinary bet. This crazed lunatic, this heartless coward, decided to use another Instant messaging provider. Clearly the bet was against them all, but she, evil as she is, refused to acknowledge my arguements, collected my money.
The moral of this story, children, is not to bet with Arabs or Crazy white girls. This will only end in you being fishtailed, t-boned, whatever metaphore you want to use. Do not do this. Bet, instead, with old men, preferably overconfident grandpa's.
salam alaykum
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