A Canticle For Cheapowitz: A Review Of The Dollar Menu

Here it is, the long awaited top 5 dollar menus in Cedar Rapids.



5. Burger King: A very simple dollar menu, a chicken and burger choice that are both acceptable to the poor mans budget, and fast ready. However, the smell of the whopper jr. is the most odiferous smell Imagine being served as food other than potato salad, and thats saying something. It stems mostly from the presence of pickles and mayonaise poured on by somone saying "say when" to hellen keller. Pickles, while on thinking about it, are nasty little buggers. They taste terrible, and come on everything. I propose a bill in the house that will make the induction of pickles to ones burgers on request only. This will save hours of my life from having to pick them off. The chicken is acceptable.



4. Mikkidees- This place is disgusting. Flat up, it makes me sick to go in here because of its nasty environment and the shere number of people that eat there. However, I do give them credit for revolutionizing the dollar menu with the first double cheese burger. No good toppings whatsoever, just a nasty, but still double, cheeseburger. Why are dollar menus good? Because it sacrifices taste for price and the ablility to fill you up. Mcdonalds has proved this with its nasty-ass food yet 100 billion orders served.

3. KFC-This joint get the #3 spot for 2 reasons. The 1 dollar snacker, which is quite possibly the most changable 1 dollar treat this earth has ever seen. It comes in buffalo, origional, crunchy, cheesy, and bbq. It by its very nature, is absolutely delicious. The next and final reason is the home fries they serve, which are very good. Thanks to the snacker we can finally have a decent dollar menu chicken order.

2. Arbys-pick 5 for 5.95. Techically not a dollar for every unit, but after tax, it is like 530, so get over it. Lets begin with the jamoca shake, which by its very nature is delicious, this is why this dollar menu warrents a spot at #4. Also in this menu we have the Arbys melt, which is not necessarily as good as a hamburger (because hamburgers kick ass), but in general is acceptable. 3 words, curley fries rock, the best 1 dollar fry out there for sure. Finally there is the potato cakes, and motzerella sticks order which are both very good and very bad for you.

1. Wendy's- There are a number of reasons why Wendy's has the best dollar menu, for 1, it broke the crap-price barrier that states for 1 dollar food must taste bad. Why does wendy's taste good? Tomatos. They come on everything, and it gives the place a sense of some cleanliness and a small hint of health. Lets attack all of their dollar menu selections 1 by 1. First are formost we have the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, it comes with tomatos (yum), and bacon, 2 things never before seen on a dollar menu. Its delicious. Next we have the Double stack. This burger is the most beastly cheeseburger the world has ever seen on a dollar menu. It tackles hunger and the taste buds. Finally we have the crispy chicken sandwhich. Now dont get me wrong, its no snacker, but it gets the job done, far better than the McDonalds McChicken. Congrats to Wendys for the innovation of the dollar menu, and the breaking of the crap to price barrier.